Day dreamin.........

Here's a few of my consistent thoughts ... I think about them every couple of hours.

I want to get into compliance.

I previously worked for MonaVie, which is an MLM company that sells an acai berry juice. I did customer service for them for over 2 1/2 years. It was a great job at first, and I enjoyed working there. Then things started to change. I kept applying for the jobs I knew I would be GREAT at, and also that would pay more. Isn't that what we all want? More money? So anyway, needless to say I never got any higher than customer support. However, during my endeavors I came to learn alot about what is involved with compliance. I want that job! I know from the top of my head to the tips of my toes that I would be fantastic at that job! I just know it! So that is my goal here at my new place of business, Asea.

Asea is the best company I have ever worked for, and it's funny because prior to working here I thought that MonaVie was the best. What I love about working for Asea the most is that there are only 8 of us right now in Customer Support. That is major! I mean major in the sense that I can work my way up as the company grows, and what better time than now to really make myself shine!? So there it is.

Goal#1 GET INTO COMPLIANCE.

I want to be TONED.

Oh geez...I am constantly thinking about my weight/body. I want to be thin and toned like I can't even explain. It's my obsession. My husband and I are doing p90x right now, and I love it. I just obsess about food way too much. I am definitely way better than I used to be. It's still a major problem. I am always worried about eating too much/too little. I feel like for the most part I eat really well, but the weight isn't coming off. I have this vision of just being toned and tiny. I don't think it's far fetched, and I don't believe it's unhealthy. It's kinda hard to get people to understand, because they don't have the same mentality. In other words I don't have anyone to talk to about it. My husband is extremely helpful because he actually keeps me motivated, and I love spending one hour with him everyday just working out and gettin all sweaty (there are other ways for this to be acheived) haha.

So my goal right now is to do 180 days of p90x and see where it takes me. I want to relax on this journey. I mean that by not being obsessed about food, not doing it in an unhealthy way, accepting the 1 hr long workout every single day, loving myself.

Loving myself.

Hmm... that's so pretty looking. Really hard though. I love myself more than I did 12 months ago after I had my baby, but I don't love myself like I did 18 months ago when I had a pre-baby body. That's a lie actually...it was a post baby/pre-baby body. Brynley didn't do much damage to my body though, and I hadn't ever really tried to lose weight until after I had her.

Goal#2 Get Toned.

I love my life because...

Because I married my best friend!

We made the happiest kid together!



Our son never fails to make me smile

Our son keeps us on our toes!

There are lots and lots and lots of other reasons for me to be happy, but I am just trying to find reasons to post pictures of our little Danger-mania! He's just the cutest, so who could blame me!? 





My papa-less weekend!

            This past weekend I was lucky enough to take care of little Danger-mania all by myself! Fuzz was gone on a trip to Vegas with our friend Josh. For the most part I absolutely loved it being just me and Dange. There were a few times that I wanted to pull my hair out, like while I was trying to put away the dishes and Dange kept trying to grab the knives! I also bought a toilet paper stick (you keep extra rolls on it for your bathroom) from Ikea, and he kept hauling it around the house, which caused the brand new rolls to unravel. That was frustrating. All in all though I just adore him!

 Friday night I got off work at 5:00 and I had to head straight to Pleasant Grove to pick him up from his G-parents house. The traffic was bad on the way there, and then also on the way back! He was so cute when I got there to get him. It just seemed like he had a great day with his Grandpa Scott! I couldn't stay long because I had plans for dinner with my friend Jessica. Well, I wasn't able to call her and tell her about the traffic I was stuck in due to Fuzzy taking my freakin charger out of my car! Boooooo to that! So I was relying on the fact that I gave her an estimate of me being available for dinner around 7 pm. I barely made it to her house on time! I was hoping I would be able to stop at home and get dressed in comfy clothes (I have to dress super nice for work) but I didn't want her to think I was flaking out, so I just went straight to her house. When I got there Jess was all dressed up and cute (which is a big deal cause she has a newborn!) We had a great time at Zupas, and Dange was surprisingly well behaved!

He didn't sleep well Friday night, probably due to the sugar high from the chocolate strawberries I gave him at dinner! Plus, he is used to going to bed around 7:30, but we didn't get home until 8:30...I didn't sleep well either. I am used to having my husband by my side, and he wasn't this time. I pretty much just tried to watch tv until my eyes hurt so bad I had to close them.

Saturday was pretty productive! I had this huge plan to do all of this cleaning while Fuzzy was gone. I didn't exactly finish, but I certainly gave it my best shot. I woke up with Dange around 6:30, and we hung out for a while until it was his first nappy time. While he was napping I started a few loads of laundry, and then I also tried to clean the kitchen. I pretty much only got the cupboards washed off with a magic eraser. HOLY AMAZING! I loooooove magic erasers! My fridge has never looked to stinking white! :) After Dange got up from his first nap I got him all ready so we could go hang out with Dani and Brynn at Hobby Lobby. I got my parents these cute ornaments for their christmas tree (my mom has this tradition and I wanted to contribute) Then we came home, and I watched TV for a while. Around 1 Dange took his second nap, and that is when I got most of my cleaning done! I mean he slept super good! I even went upstairs to check on him because I kept expecting him to wake up... That's when I took these pics :) He just melts my heart!



Saturday night I had to work for 4 hours, so my sweet brother came to babysit for me. I don't know what I would have done without his help. To repay him Dange and I went to Artic Circle to buy him his favorite dinner just before he arrived. The stupid lady at Artic Circle gave me two shakes instead of one. I asked her for an Orea Berry shake... I got an orea and a berry shake! Oh well, I didn't have time to argue... Jas was so sweet to hurry super fast to make it to my house so that I could be to work right at 6! It was a tight squeeze, and I actually ended up clocking in late because I couldnt' find out how to get into the building on the weekend! Apparently they forgot to make me a key to get in! I have one now though :)

When I got home on Saturday night, Jas and I just talked and talked for like 2 hours! It was really nice. I love talking to my brother. He's really smart, and a conversation is always interesting. Especially when we get talking about religion. I know that's weird, but I love talking about it with my brother. We are kinda on the same page about it, and so it's interesting to hear what his thoughts/beliefs are. Then finally around like 1 in the morning, his poor wife Amy called wondering where he was! I felt bad for keeping him so long! So he had to leave... Then of course it was time for me to "go to bed" but I couldn't sleep! I really am not used to sleeping alone. So I stayed awake and watched TV. Then my friend Dani started drunk texting me, and I didn't mind cause I was lonely... So around 2 I got hungry, and made myself a bowl of unshelled peanuts (probably my most favorite snack) ... once I downed that I was getting kinda tired. So I went to sleep...

Sunday morning Dange woke up at 7:30 (which is really like 8:30 cause of the time change) So we got up and got going! I got all showered, and also cleaned the shower with the magic eraser! Fun! Dange just hung out in the bathroom while I took a shower... Then I called my friend Dani to see if she wanted to go to Ikea with me. She loves it there, so she was totally down! I think we there for 2 hours!  I for real love Ikea...I also love their cafe. I got Dange a little kids meal with meatballs, mac cheese, and brocolli...Go figure that the only thing he would eat was the brocolli! When we came home I put up all the stuff I got at Ikea for the bathroom while Dange took his nap. Then we didn't do much until he went to bed. I called Fuzz around 5:30 to see when he would be home, and he said it would be 2 1/2 hours. Well, we do p90x together, but I didn't want to wait until he got back before starting that days workout. So as soon as Dange went to sleep, I started it. Then when I was done I took a picture of what I looked like! Haha... I thought it was a funny picture! I took it though because I felt like I worked my butt off! I think I worked so hard because I wasn't afraid of my husband watching me. I plan on working harder from now on though! So here is my funny workout pic :)  

All in all it was a great weekend! I am sure glad Fuzz is back... I missed him alot!

Mini Meltdown

So last night I had a mini melt down.

   It hasn't happened to me in a LONG time. I mean a really long time. So to fill you in on the story, I got pregnant when I was 17 in highschool. I wasn't ready to have a baby yet, and I decided around 8 months along that I wanted to place the baby for adoption. It was the best decision I could have made, and I have never regretted it. Not once. Brynley was born January 1 2007, and the parents I found are AMAZING! It was actually pretty random how it all happened. My mom had come out to Salt Lake to check out a few adoption places, and the first we went to was LDS services. Ugh, not a good experience. AT ALL. I felt like they were judging me for getting pregnant, and all they wanted was my baby. I was really upset about that, because I thought of all the places I could go that it would be the best. Anyway, after my mom and I left the LDS services we went to dinner with her dear friend Boni. Well, during lunch Boni mentioned how her daughter had a friend couple that had just found out that their invitro didn't work. I felt skeptical at first, but I asked Boni if she would have her daughter ask them to email me. Well, not too long later I got an email from them. The more I read the more I knew that they were the family for my little girl! They were just perfect, and adorable! I was so excited! They were LDS, young, and didn't have children yet. That was the exact family I wanted, plus they just looked vibrant in their photos. Anyway, I eventually met them, and I told them I wanted them to be the parents. From there it's history! When I went into labor I invited them to the hospital so that they could be there for the birth. I am really glad that they got to experience that, and I was the one who made it happen :)

Well, anyway they've been the most amazing people ever! I am so glad that I have been blessed with them in my life! They have been so open with me. They let me see her for her birthdays, and they even brought her to my wedding! I just can't say enough about them. Last night my husband and I were talking about Brynley, and about trying to stay in contact with them. I just melted. I kinda told them the last time I got to see her that I knew I wouldn't get to see her in person again. Partly, it was due to being afraid that they were going to be the first to say it. I felt like if I decided on not seeing them anymore, then it would make it easier. Well, Fuzzy asked me last night if I did want to see her, and I just started crying. Ofcourse I would love to see her! It's just starting to be more real to me what I am missing out on. Especially now that I know what it's like to raise a baby. There are so many little things I haven't been able to experience with her, and I don't want to intrude on their life just to find out. So anyway that is my story. I love Brynley! I love her parents too! Fuzzy made me feel alot better about it last night by saying "Well, even though you aren't raising her she is still getting all the experiences of growing up, just in a different way" He's totally right... She isn't missing out on anything! She's been able to have so much more because of my decision! I am not missing out either, because of what I chose to do I was able to meet my best friend! I was also able to have a baby in a stable relationship. We are able to take care of our child and not worry about living paycheck to paycheck. So I feel alot better :) Just haven't cried about Brynley for a very long time.

Here is one of the few pictures I have right at this moment of me and Brynley. It was at our wedding.

Here I yam!

I've been inspired! I want to keep a blog that my family and friends can follow. I don't always write in a journal, but I can do a blog! So here is a little about me and my lil family...

I am married to Fuzzy, and we've been together for 3 1/2 years. We got married in September 2008, and it's been the best experience of my life! He is my best friend, and I am so fortunate to have such a good relationship. We both have the same interests, and he is just as weird as I am!

Shortly after we got married, and I mean realllly shortly, I begged him to let us start a family. Thinking back I wonder if it would have been better to wait just a little longer until we could buy a house. However, I wouldn't change it for the world! We got pregnant in December 2008

 and welcomed little Eric Danger in September 2009! He was born 3 days after our 1st year anniversary :)

I love our little man! He's the most interesting thing to me. He definitely tests my patience, but I have learned so much about life and myself just by raising him. I definitely feel that he has made me a better person. His papa is the best papa ever! I love watching the two of them play and interact. I couldn't ask for a better life!

After having Danger I gained 50 pounds! Holy mackeral! That's alot! Needless to say I have been obsessed with wanting to lose the baby weight. Well I am proud to say that I am only 7 pounds away from my pre-baby weight! Woooooo! It's been a long journey! About 6 weeks after having him I dared to weigh myself, and it made me sick :( I weighed exactly the same weight as a few days before going into labor! Yuck... stupid halloween candy. So I purchased Turbo Jam, and I lost about 15 pounds. For those of you that know me though, I am not a patient person. It wasn't happening fast enough, so I decided that I wanted to try HCG. Everyone was raving about how well it worked. So I bought some off Ebay and did the whole shabang. If any of you are interested in doing HCG, I highly recommend you DON'T! It wasn't healthy at all. I was obsessed about food. I was irritated all the time. I was weighing myself way too often, and getting extremely upset that I wasn't losing a pound a day. Plus, looking back I probably lost muscle mass too. When you are wanting to look thin you definitely need to build muscle. In the end I lost 30 pounds doing the HCG, and I am glad I did, but I wish I had understood the importance of working out to lose the weight. We need to be active. Good news though is that I am doing that to get the body I want! My husband and I purchased p90x on a whim in 2008 shortly before getting pregnant. At the time we were not healthy people, so we put one disc in and barely finished 30 minutes then never touched it again. Currently we've been doing p90x for 37 days, and it's been AWESOME! It's certainly hard, but so worth it! Since starting I have lost 7 pounds, and I feel better than I ever have before.

 About 2 weeks ago we also started rock climbing, and I am so glad we did! I think rock climbing is a great "organic" workout. By organic I mean that it doesn't feel like you are working out. It's such an awesome feeling to succeed and reach the top! Balaying down scares the crap out of me though! I am getting over it slowly! Another thing we like about the rock climbing place is that they have a daycare. They also teach yoga, and they have a gym area with treadmills. Plus, their rate is fairly cheap considering what fun it is to climb. I love "people watching" while I am there too. Fuzz will be climbing while I am balaying for him, and I'll get distracted watching freakin ninjas climb on overhangs! It's invigorating! I can't wait til I am able to do that!

So that is my post for the day :)